Not this time miss

It takes time to mend one’s broken ego. Mine has been broken several times and consecutively that I’m getting good at handling it, scars and all.

The cause of my most recent egotistical wound is best displayed by the previous entry, The One That Didn’t Make It. Just as what its title suggests, the pain to which I am trying to recuperate from sprang from rejection.

To help me fully recover, allow me to rationalize over why my supposed 2nd shot at Youngblood vaporized to thin air by enumerating the top seven bitterness-free reasons why I did not make it.

1. DUH. My article begins with a book no decent Youngblood reader would read.

2. BLAME MY BOTTOM. My college professor kept on reminding us to proofread our works all the time. I should have paid more attention. Now I’m bound to blame my ass, or should I say “asses.” (See 1st paragraph, 2nd-to-the-last word)

3. ME, MY, I. You have to give me credit for using the second person point of view. Not a lot of writers dare to use “you” in their entire piece. However, it is obvious that my “you” is really “me.” Even if I’m no award-winning writer I am aware that unless you are writing an autobiography, you’re not supposed to write about your self all the time. My fault.

4. LAY OFF SARCASM. At a certain dose it is funny. Go beyond enough and then the world will hate you. I’ve expressed my idea of what is true in a style I take pleasure in but in the process I stepped on others’ truth. My apologies.

5. NO MOCKERY PLEASE. I hit below the belt when I challenged man’s ability to read—not a good move especially when the editor himself is a man.

6. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I switched from defending the case of those with no boyfriend since birth to that of the spinsters then back to those who are single since birth. I still believe that society see them in one plane but I should have clarified that I am defending all of them with equal intensity.

7. KEEP IT PRIVATE. I should keep my self-deprecating ways to myself, or at least to my closest allies. My first time readers would think I am altogether pathetic and will more likely dismiss my future articles as just another blob of rants. I strongly suggest that they shouldn’t. Even after this piece they shouldn’t.

OK, I’ll stop here.