Saturday, December 30, 2006

Nang si Kristo’y Isilang…May Tatlong Koreanong Nagsidalaw

Tambay mode ako. Pagkabangon sa kama, tumunganga at nagpakatamad. Saktong walang magawa si Nichi sa bago niyang permanent marker. Napagkasunduan naming drowingan nya na lang ang leg ko ng isang character (of my choice) sa Yugi-oh cards nya.

So ayon, matatapos na sya nang may tatlong Koreanong kumatok sa pinto namin. Magsusurvey daw sila. Yun lang pala eh. Kinuha ko agad yung questionnaire. Palibhasa hindi pa ako nagtutoothbrush, pinasok ko sa bahay yung papel. Maya-maya pa e nagtangka nang pumasok yung babaeng Koreano.

“Can we come in?”

Op kors, I had to live up to the Pinoy hospitality.

“Come in. Take a seat.” Sabay hawi ng mga kalat sa sofa namin. Tapos binalikan ko yung questionnaire. Patay! Isa itong trap! Puro mga bible chenes ang tanong. Hindi naman sa takot akong matanong tungkol sa bible, considering that I got 3 line-of-sevens sa Christian Living nung high school ako. May idea lang ako na hindi aalis agad ang tatlong Koreanong ito.

And true enough, matapos silang pakainin ng mommy ko ng saging which they called “banana monkey,” naglabas na sila ng bible. (Tuwang-tuwa sila sa thought ng “banana monkey”. Ako naman natatawa kasi yung mommy ko e kasalukuyang nanonood ng Koreanovela sa channel 7.) Tinanong nila ako kung nagbabasa ba ako ng bible. Sabi ko, oo, noong nag-aaral pa ako sa Catholic school. Di ko na inexpound na actually, ginagawa ko lang coloring book yung bible ko kaya nga yata nangolekta ako ng line-of-seven doon.

Nang mapadaan ang daddy ko, sabi nya, in Filipino, “bebentahan lang kayo nyan!” I hope di siya naintindihan ng aming mga kimchi-eating guests. Kasi, paano na ang Pinoy hospitality?

Titiisin ko sana na basahan nila ako ng bible kaso may question and answer portion pa. Parang they wanted me to get involved.

Attack of the ADHD na ito kaya napasabak ako sa Inglisan! Sa pagkakaalala ko, ito yung mga sinabi ko:

“I think you are going to start preaching to me.”

Tumago ang tatlong singkit. Take note: nakabukas ang bible nila sa revelations. Talagang tinatakot ako!

“I told you earlier that I used to read the bible. I no longer do that now because I now have a different way of nourishing my faith. I do not believe that I will enter the kingdom of heaven just by praying alone. I think that it is also important to do good deeds to the people around me.”

“Yes but,” sabi nung isa pang Koreana na mukhang may cultural ignorance sa pagrecognize ng mga Pinoy sa kanilang personal bubble—I swear ang lapit ng mukha nya sa akin! “Jesus said ten thousand years ago, ‘come to me if you thirst…blah blah blah…it is the only way you can enter the kingdom of heaven.’ Then this time (balik sa revelations) only those who know the spirit and his wife can enter the kingdom of heaven.”

“I am so sorry but I don’t believe in that. Not all of us have the privilege to read books such as the bible. And I don’t think God will favor those who were lucky enough to have read the bible and known the existence of the ‘spirit and his wife.’ I don’t think God will lock his door to those who cannot read or those whom you, preachers, did not reach.”

“Yes, but ten thousand years ago…” Prerecorded yata ang ten thousand years ago script ng Koreanang ito!

“I have a different way of interpreting the bible. I am so sorry but I’m afraid our beliefs will not meet. I strongly believe that prayer and knowledge of the bible are not the key to God’s kingdom. I’ve seen religious people. I’ve known some who are strong in faith but weak in action. I don’t think they will enter the kingdom of heaven for that. And besides, I do good to the people around me because I want to do good, not because I am finding a way to get to heaven, to assure myself a place there.”

Hindi ko na maalala kung anu-ano pa exactly ang mga sinabi ko. Basta namalayan ko na lang na nakatunganga na ang tatlong Koreano. Hindi ko alam kung naintindihan ba nila ako o kung may sense ba talaga ang mga sinabi ko. Nagulat din ako. Ang dami kong sinabi sa kanila. In English pa! Marunong pala akong magsalita ng matinong Ingles!

Pack-up ang tatlong Koreano. Nag-sorry ako dahil ayaw kong isipin nila na binastos ko sila. Ang akin naman e, kanya-kanyang paniniwala lang ito. At kung ano man ang mas makakabuti sa iyo, ang magiging daan para maging isa kang mabuting tao, why not go for it?

At kagaya ng sinabi ko sa isang katext ko kanina, hindi “matanda” si Papa Jesus—hindi siya yung tipong pag nagsabi ka ng opinyon mo na medyo lihis sa paniniwala niya ay e ikukumpas niya ang kamay niya para mag-apoy na lang ang kinatatayuan mo. Hindi narrow-minded yung batang ipinanganak sa sabsaban. Sa dami ng mga pinagdaanan niya, malamang sa oo, mulat ang mga mata niya sa realidad hindi lamang sa mga pinagsasabi ng mga sikat na propeta noong panahon niya. At sa palagay ko, si Jesus, may sense of humor siya. Kasi naman, kung hindi siya marunong sumundot ng joke sa mga speech niya, malamang tinulugan na siya thousands of men, excluding women and children, na audience niya sa gitna ng disyerto kahit pa may free food sila.

COMMENTS

Buwahahahahaha!!!
banana monkey sounds two degrees removed from kimchi chinky
cheers to the people who still subscribe to "sabi nilang mga matatanda..." and may they find other people to blame for thier upbringing.
Posted by: Poli | December 30, 2006 01:12 PM

Talent,
sooooooooper winner talaga ang acting mo! ang galing! lol! dapat nirerecord mo un ganyan, tatalunin mo pa si rex navarete i swearrrrr!!!
Manager
Posted by: ChRiStMaSII | January 4, 2007 10:18 AM

Manager,
Gusto ko na talaga maging stand up comic. Seryoso! Wala ka bang alam na raket?
Ayos lang sa akin ang mapuyat!
--Talent
Posted by: Tyrene | January 5, 2007 09:03 AM

malabo yata yung "Jesus said 10 thousand years ago", no?!
hindi ba dapat 2000++ years lang?
ano yon? imbento?!
tye, here's to a life led not by religious faith, but faith in one's self.
happy new year!
Posted by: Nikka | January 5, 2007 09:04 AM

Aba, you know your bible! Yun din sabi ng kapatid ko. Siyempre ako, hindi ko alam yon!
Posted by: Tyrene | January 5, 2007 09:07 AM

so ano na ngang pinag uusapan!!!!????? wahahhahaha
Posted by: evil | January 22, 2007 09:09 AM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Holiday Senti…I Can’t Help It

Hindi ako makasulat nang matino. May thoughts kasing bumabara sa isipan ko kaya hindi makadaloy ang sana ay blog-worthy stories ko. Sinusubukan kong isantabi ang barang ito pero ayaw umusad ng attempt ko. I am hoping that this entry will work like Gleam liquid Sosa. Nawa’y matanggal agad ang bara!

Pero bago yon, disclaimer muna…

I realized during my crying festival that my health care provider may not cover my psychiatric concerns and that I would have gone totally insane if it were not for my writing. Hence my blog is sort of sacred. And as much as my published thoughts, by my own volition, have turned public, I still have command over my space—I mean, my friendster blog. Kaya magalit na ang magagagalit. This is my blog. I think I have the right to say what seems healthy for me to say here.

Sabi nga ni Connie Veneracion, isang multi-awarded blogger and Op-ed columnist, ang bawat blogger ay dapat na may matibay na sikmura kagaya ng mga kolumnista. Sa pagsusulat, siguradong may titira sa iyo kaya dapat handa ka.

Sana nga handa ako.

Bukas Christmas eve na. Pero bakit hindi ako masaya? Bakit bitter ako? Shut up if you’re going to say wala kasi akong boyfriend! Wala akong boyfriend since pinanganak ako. I wouldn’t know the difference. Bad trip ako kasi iba na ang Pasko.

One time habang kasama ko ang ilan kong kaopisina sa napakahabang pila sa ATM, nagtanungan kami kung papaano namin i-se-celebrate ang pasko. Nalungkot ako para sa isang officemate when he said that he will probably greet Christmas alone. I asked him why he wouldn’t spend Christmas with his family. He said that kanya kanya na kasi sila. Nalungkot talaga ako. Parang weird yata ang pasko kung walang pamilya. After all, Christmas is originally about a family welcoming a special new-born baby.

Hindi attempt na magpaka-macho ang pag-claim ko na never akong naniwala kay Santa Clause dahil hindi naman talaga ako naniwala sa matabang mama na yon. I have to stress out that my childhood was perfect even without Santa Clause. Mahusay ang mga magulang ko dahil naipahatid nila sa akin na ang Pasko ay tungkol kay Mama Mary, Papa Joseph at Baby Jesus. Kaya naman walang bahid ng komersyalismo ang early Christmases ko. If you think about it, Christmas is not about decorations, or Christmas cards, or gifts. It is all about family.

Yes, family.

For 24 years, I spent Christmas with my immediate family. Parang may time na hindi kami complete dahil naalala ko na yung dati naming bunso (tatlo pa lang kaming magkakapatid noon) ay naospital isang Pasko dahil nahulog siya sa hagdan. Nonetheless that Christmas seemed complete kahit si dad, ate at ako lang ang nasa bahay. Tapos six years ago, muntik na kaming magpaskong lahat sa ospital nang madiagnose si Nichi ng Leukemia. Mabuti na lang at nadischarge kami ng umaga ng Dec. 24. Then last year happened.

Nakakalungkot dahil isa na kami sa maraming Pinoy families na hindi kumpleto dahil mayroon na kaming OFW (or para sosyal, ex-pat) sa pamilya. Kaya galit ako sa pagtaas ng presyo ng lata. It took my Ate away from us. Kung OK sana ang ekonomiya natin, kumpleto sana kami.

Thankful ako dahil despite the events in our family life this year, we managed to come out complete. A few days ago, my dad told me that Nichi’s doctor told him noong malala si Nichi na devastated na talaga ang katawan ng bunso kong kapatid, na kumalat na ang impeksyon sa katawan nya, na alam naman ng bata iyon, na susunod na mangyayari sa kanya ay mag-slip into a coma then perish. Kaya naman pala parang nalugi ang daddy ko. I told my dad, “kaya pala parang nag-space out ka na nung umiiyak si Nichi sa ospital.” Even I knew that something was wrong kasi alam ko my dad always knew what to do pero nung dark days ni Nichi parang pati daddy ko ay wala nang magawa. Himala talaga na nagawa pa ni Niching magkakanta nitong nakaraang kasal ng Ate ko. May powerful being na nagbigay kay Nichi ng hindi lang pangalawang chance na mabuhay.

Siguro human ako for demanding more. Kasi if I were to be asked, hindi ko lang hihilingin na makumpleto ang pamilya namin. Siyempre gusto ko sama-sama kami. Pero as the cliché goes, “nothing is constant in this world but change.” So change it is.

A week ago, we welcomed my sister’s husband to our family. Sabi nga ng dad ko, hindi siya brother-in-law. Brother siya. Which is correct. Nakinig akong mabuti doon sa toast ng daddy ko during my sister’s wedding’s reception. And he has a point. Your daughter marrying someone doesn’t mean you are losing her. On the contrary, you are gaining a son. Korekek! Sa wakas I am having the older brother I never had. Pero siyempre, hindi lahat ng pagbabago ay madaling tanggapin. Kaya nga yata naimbento ang limbo.

Nasa Pilipinas si Ate ngayon pero hindi niya sasalubungin ang Pasko with us because as the wife of her husband, she has decided to spend Christmas with Kuya Warren's family. There is nothing wrong with that really. Kasi she already is a part of that family.

However, I can’t help but feel abandoned. Hindi rin pala kami kumpletong sasalubong sa Pasko. Sa picture lang na naman ulit makikita ni ate ang mga mukha namin sa bisperas ng Pasko. At, oo, kagaya ng thought na nakabara sa utak ko, may lump na naka-stuck sa throat ko ngayon dahil needless to say, malungkot ako.

Hindi naman ako pwedeng magalit dahil mali iyon. That’s when my hurt will be out of line. Somehow I am lamenting yet trying to be rational. Mahirap siya. Naiisip ko iyong isang comment ni Ate dito sa blog ko noon. She said that I will forever be her sister. Pero since last year, I was just her maid of honor, except nung napaemergency uwi siya rito dahil nga na-ICU si Nichi. In between sa paghihintay namin sa viewing hours sa ICU, naging magkapatid ulit kami. Nagawa naming mag-usap ng hindi lamang tungkol sa kasal nya kung hindi sa buhay ng isa’t isa. Ngayong tapos na ang kasal, hindi ko alam kung mag-ano na kami. Kasi napansin ko we no longer tell each other everything. She withholds her stories; I screen mine. Ganoon ba talaga kapag lumalaki na ang magkakapatid? Tapos lalong hindi malinaw dahil yung dating roommate ko, na ka-kunchaba ko sa mga Christmas surprises ay absent, hindi dahil mahal ang lata, kundi dahil may asawa na siya.

Itong taon na ito, nasabihan ako ng “grow up.” Alam ko na guilty ako sa pagiging female Peter Pan pero hindi ko na-realize na masasaktan ako sa imperative statement na, “grow up.” Siguro kaya hirap akong mag-accept ng change dahil nga bonsai ang maturity ko. At kung ang mga kasabayan ko ay adult na, ako ngayon pa lang tinitighiyawat ang mga pananaw ko sa buhay. Pwede ko sigurong gawing project yon sa 2007. Maybe that’ll help me cope and adjust.

Pwede ko rin sigurong paluin ang sarili ko. Kasi naman, October of last year pa lang sinabihan ko na ang sarili ko na, “prepare yourself, a big change is about to come your way.” Kaya nga nag-aaral akong mapag-isa. It is the only way I could detach myself. Akala ko naman OK na. Sus, not enough exercise pala ang shopping, bowling, eating and watching movies by myself! Ito yata ang problem with thinking. It proves to be depressing.

But I will get over this. I know I will.

Sayang lang nga, kung alam ko lang sana na last Noche Buena na namin together yung noong 2004, e di sana sinagad-sagad ko na. Tunay ngang nasa huli ang pagsisi. Madalas kong sabihin ngayon na time’s a ticking. Yung nangyari kay Nichi, yung kasal ni Ate at ang Pasko namin bukas ay ilan lang sa mga pangyayari na nagreremind sa akin ng time really is a ticking!

Ewan ko kung kelan pa kami muling mabubuo sa pagsalubong ng Pasko. Who knows kung may mag-aabroad muli sa amin next year? And with what I heard hindi na dito magpapasko sina Ate and Kuya Warren next year. Baka they will spend the holidays in another country with the same people with whom they will be spending this year's Christmas with.

It sucks sometimes. Late na pag nadiscover mo na times-up ka na pala. Iiyak ka na lang upon realizing that, shit, you can no longer turn back time!

So let me say it.

Shit! I don’t think that I can turn back time!

COMMENTS

Naiyak ako.
Yun lang.
Shit. We can never turn back time.
Shit again kasi the truth hurts.
Tye... kukunin ko blog mo... ipo-post ko sa blog ko. Gusto ko i-share sa lahat ang views mo. Antipatikang talentadong writer ka!!! It's about time the world hears you.
Love you, sis!
Posted by: Addict | December 23, 2006 10:01 PM

Kaya ka naiyak dahil umiiyak ang nagsulat ng binasa mo. Hindi ko alam kung minumura mo ba ako pero since antipatikang talentada naman ako, I'll take your comment as a compliment. Salamat! Palakpak tenga ko.
Posted by: Tyrene | December 30, 2006 10:16 AM

Aww... in fairness to you, dpat magsulat ka professionally. Set up a blog somewhere na mas marami makakabasa. Ako ang unang fan mo!
Well, napa-sigh ako nun part na xmas nyo last year. naisip ko rin ang mortality ng pagiging sama sama. totoo nga naman. we dont know what can happen in 1 year. baka nga next xmas di na pareho. but well, isipin mo nalang (ham yan!) u have all other xmas' of your life to reminisce na kumpleto at masaya ang lahat. darating ang araw mga bagong memory naman ang papalit, sana lang mas masaya ka na sa susunod diba?!
ps.
di ka nagiisa, ganyan talaga pag pasko, lahat ng SSB senti, hehehe!
Posted by: ChRiStMaSII | January 4, 2007 10:27 AM

Christmas, Pasensya na at sad ako nung birthday mo. Pero tama ka. Aabangan ko na lang ang next na pasko. Hopefully bagong adventure na yon. :-)
About the new blog, I've thought about that. In fact nagsimula na ako with a new blog pero long way to go pa siya. Ang drama ko sana ay new year, new blog pero hindi ko na-meet ang aking Dec31 deadline. For now, pinopost ko rin doon lahat ng posts ko dito. Wala pa siya masyadong laman but you can be one of my first visitors there. Just go to http://battik.blogspot.com/
Thank you for reading me and, as we say it at Hallmark, happy belated birthday!
Posted by: Tyrene | January 5, 2007 09:25 AM

wala bang blog about new year's eve.. nung sama-sama tayong lahat? i hope it counts.
love does not require physical presence.. napapakita ito kapag malayo ang mahal mo and still napapakita mo pa rin ang concern mo by calling or by texting.
i dont take this blog against you. kaya nga may freedom of speech. kaya lang when you write you are also documenting everything. your happiness, your pain.. i just hope you learn from them and not treat them as a scar which will never be healed.
- ate win
Posted by: Wah and Win | January 15, 2007 08:10 AM

Friday, December 22, 2006

If It Falls Off


I will not see a doctor if I didn’t think something is wrong. But I am in pain. Unfortunately I seem to be the only one who realizes that this could be bad. Even my health care provider is postponing my diagnosis to celebrate the holidays. THEY will celebrate the holidays while my right boob is probably rotting and who knows, 11 days after my trauma, my boob may be falling off.

Call me unlucky for being the only one damaged during a minor accident in that friggin FB van during my sister’s wedding. My right arm, boob and rib cage slammed at the solid metal back of the front passenger seat when the driver hastily stepped on the breaks. He said a cab tried to cut us. To hell with that cab! For a moment I thought I lost my arm.

None of my family was there in the van to comfort me. No one in the van had the initiative to care even if I was telling them that I think I just lost my right boob. I guess they thought I was joking.

Of all the times to incur pain, why during my sister’s wedding? Why when I am wearing a red sparkly gown? And we were on our way to the church—meaning I had to suppress my pain during the whole holy matrimony thing until the end of the reception. The moment I got off the van I told my parents what had happened to me. Of course, everyone was busy with the wedding. No one seemed to have absorbed that this time, I wasn’t kidding. I had no choice but to procrastinate grieving for my dead muscles and, probably, broken bones.

The show went on. Ergo, I proceeded with my maid of honor duties albeit my internal, physical throb. And when the lights went out, I burst into tears. My brother asked me if I wanted to be brought to the hospital. I avoided his question by crying some more. Heaven knows how I am afraid of hospitals!

When I retired to bed, my trauma site ached like crazy. I celebrated my mortality by crying just as crazily. The tears that I shed lasted until 10 AM the next day. In one episode of Grey’s Anatomy, the character Christina yelled, “Make it stop! Sedate me!” She was pertaining to her tears. I never thought I would be her. Lucky me, I slept through my sobs and pain. When I gained consciousness at around 5PM, my tear ducts were dry and my eyes were beyond bloated. My vision had turned panoramic! I swear, what comes after a crying festival isn’t the best hangover there is.

I no longer worry about my arm. In fact I’m beginning to like my bruise. I look like a dog with one giant spot. It’s not everyday that you get a chance to look like a dog. I am happy to have been given that opportunity.

Yesterday, I mustered enough courage to see a doctor. Then again, I was still hurt. I had no choice but to have my bump checked. The doctor said that the stinging feeling on my bruise will last for another one to two more weeks. He ordered that my arm and ribcage be X-rayed to be sure that I did not break anything.

A while ago, I went back to the hospital to get the result of my X-ray but some cosmic force wants to prolong my agony. No doctor accredited by my health care provider will be able to take a look at my X-ray not until December 27. On my way home, I could not stop myself from thinking that December 27, 11 days after my accident, maybe too late to treat a blood clot. I am afraid that by that time I may be facing muscle death. (This is what watching too much House episodes does to you. Still, I could be right.)

Throughout all this, I manage to feel pissed off. I take care of myself—a lot—because I don’t want to get hurt, then this happens. If the fates think it’s funny then they should die laughing. This is what I get from being involved in a wedding—to think I did my part amidst my occasional whining. If the fates are still laughing, then they should die. Now.

My mom reprimanded me for saying that I may lose a boob. She cannot blame me for thinking negatively. The thing is, a part of me aches leaving me less than assured that I will be fine. It doesn’t help that I am hypochondriac thus explaining my tendency to magnify my injuries. Then there’s my sense of humor that thrives on hyperboles. I find exaggerated things funny. You see, I am worried but that doesn’t mean I have lost my sense of humor. I wouldn’t allow the fates to cannibalize my mishap. I will share this comedy. And if ever my boob falls off five days from now, at least I made a big laugh out of it.

Perhaps after I grieve, I’d know what to ask people next Christmas—a one-cup bra for a one-boob chick!

COMMENTS

okay. now i know how much you hate hospitals! kaya pala hindi ka mapakali nung wedding ni ate windale. hahaha!!! tye, it won't fall off. it might shrink but it won't fall off, that i assure you. now, do i sound more positive than your doctor???
sa pose mo ba naman sa picture nating tatlo ni Leng (The Singles/Attack of the CommArts), mahahalata bang you were in pain???
miss you!!!
at don't worry, okay ang resulta ng x-ray mo. may right boob ka pa next year.
mwah!!!
Posted by: Addict | December 22, 2006 06:21 AM

if it's of any comfort, "there's more to chicks than boobs"
ah, kaya siguro ako naging artist at hindi writer...
Posted by: Poli | December 30, 2006 01:22 PM

Saturday, December 9, 2006

Wise Men Say...

“…only fools rush in.”

I wonder what the wise women say.

Last night I went out with my kumares. Notice how fond I am of using the term kumare. It has a lot to do with them, the actual people I am referring to, being my first set of kumares who are within my age range. I have to thank Mareng Cheche, Pareng Budic and baby Perry for making that possible.

Our dinner was not really a girl’s night out because Mareng Ging brought along her son, Carl which was not at all bad. Carl is five years old. He is therefore within three months to seven years old—the age of kids when they are at their cutest—that is, according to me. Anyway, Carl is very amusing and is pretty much bright. He talks a lot and, amazingly, he makes sense!

I think it was Mareng Cheche who said “Ging, magaling na ba magbasa si Carl?” Which I followed up with, “Oo nga, parang ang dami na niyang alam!” To which Mareng Ging replied, “Nasa delivery lang yan.”

And just as the son, the mom, too, made sense.

It is how we deliver things that make a difference. Delivery may make or break us.

Last weekend, I dragged myself early out of bed just to make it to my 8:30 A.M. dental appointment. Nope, I was not looking forward to it. When I am the patient, doctors including dentists are monsters. I am extremely afraid of them. I once stopped a dentist who was half-way through drilling my molar, not because I was in pain but because I couldn’t stand my fear. I walked around with an open-drilled molar for about three months—the same span of time it took me to gather enough courage to go on with the dental procedure which usually runs about 30 to 60 minutes.

Somehow I realize that I do have to face my fears. Of course, I would not want to be late when I do that. And I wasn’t.

Unfortunately the dentist and her staff were. I arrived in a clinic with no signs of living, human medical creatures inside, thus aggravating the tension a battik patient goes through whenever within proximity of a clinic or a hospital.

Forty-five minutes after my schedule, the dentist and her “staff” arrived. Five minutes after that, I found myself sitting on the reclined dental chair, leaving me powerless, so to speak.

“Kanina ka pa ba naghihintay sa labas?” the dentist asked.

Nandito na ako ng 8:30. Ni-remind kasi ako ng assistant ninyo kahapon to be here on time.” I tried to deliver it as if I were not pissed off. The dentist was about to stick several of her apparatus in my mouth—I wouldn’t want her to hate me. What am I? Crazy? Wimp, yes. Crazy, no!

Sometimes, clamming up is the best means for self-preservation.

But, God, I hate late! The day after that fateful dental incident, my new cube alarm clock failed me. I woke up late for my scheduled Divisoria trip with my friends. On my tardy way to our meeting place, I saw this huge red sign which read, “Hate Late?” Some cosmic entity is speaking to me. (Yesterday, I figured out that the said cosmic entity is none other than Pizza Hut—the company responsible for those huge red hate-late signs around Pasig.)

Recently tardiness has gotten me a 16-hour suspension from work. I will not try to defend myself for incurring 20 lates this year even if I know I can justify my lateness. A lot of people, though, were surprised because of that suspension and the very “demeriting” news (I am inventing my words now) even reached Singapore which is not at all OK with me. I mean if I screw up, I prefer that it won’t go international—after all, I am NOT famous.

However it is clear to me that although I hate late, I am not one who is incapable of being late for no good reason at all. Probably the best no-good-reason-for being late is procrastination. I have come to realize that I am guilty of procrastinating almost everything in my life that if ever I decide to come up with a list of things I’ve postponed for yesterday, it will take me forever. Well, one, because I will surely procrastinate and, two, because my list will be infinite.

So now I am reduced on rationalizing: if fools rush in and I procrastinate then I will be no fool according to wise men.

Still, I wonder what the wise women will say.