Sunday, March 27, 2011

Missing you, Nichi!

I opened my eyes this morning and I remembered the sound of Nichi's laugh.

And I recalled how he'd stick Ferrero Rocher stickers on our remote control every time he gets a hold of the chocolate candy. I'd reprimand him for it.

But look who's got the sticker now?

Friday, March 25, 2011

Goodbye Auntie Baby

Hindi rin pala tayo magkikita sa Davao. :-(

Ba-bye po. Please say "hi" to Nichi for me.

Monday, March 14, 2011

I dreamed of Nichi

Last night, Nichi visited me. In my dream.

So here's how it went...

Nichi was 13 (or 12). He and Kuya Mic are going swimming. But Nichi is in one corner of the pool, teaching younger kids how to swim.

Next scene, I was talking to Nichi. He told me, "Ate, lagi na lang ako nanginginig."

Once again, I worried for my brother. It was the same feeling I had when I learned how sick he was. The same wave of panic when I learned that he's lost half of his eyesight. The same sick-in-the-gut feeling when I discovered that he will no longer get well.

For a moment I asked, "how much more does my brother have to endure given his leukemia?"

And then I woke up. And I knew the battle is over. It's been over.

Nichi is at peace now.

No more worries, Ate Tye.

* * *

My mom said maybe Nichi is telling us he's fine. And the times when he is "nanginginig" are moments when we think so much of him, keeping him restless up there.

And then I thought, maybe, he is guiding young angels in heaven.


* * *

Yes, lately I've been thinking a lot about Nichi. Maybe I miss him. A lot.

He's changed me, you see. A lot, too.

I appreciate life now. I count the blessings that come. And everyday, I teach myself to let go of things I cannot control and just be happy with the now. After all, that's all we have.

That's all we can ever have.