Sunday, May 10, 2009

i was so tired, all i could do was cry...

my fats don't make me super woman, you know?

that's how the extra weight can be deceiving. it masks the frailty of someone like me. even if i weigh extra heavier than i should be, that doesn't mean i have the endurance of huge animals like elephants or pigs or dinausaurs.

last saturday, i must have pushed myself to the limit, working from 9:30 AM, friday to around 2:30 PM saturday. i had roughly 30 minutes of lousy sleep in between. by 3 pm, my head was throbbing so hard, a vein would have snapped off if i were prone to aneurism. thank god i'm not.

on my way home, i could barely open my eyes inside the taxi. the driver was a blessing, though. he brought me home without taking advantage of my half-unconscious state. i was more than glad to give him a bigger than usual tip.

once i stepped inside our house, i claimed the sofa to park my half-dead body. and in the sanctuary that is home, in the comfort of the sofa and a few of our pillows, i started to cry. my mom asked why and i said i was just soo tired.

i managed to share some of my day's high even if my eyes were closed. and then i dozed off. i was up at around 10 pm and took my second meal for the day. the first meal was an ensaymada and mango juice from my (very caring) officemate, jamie (to whom i owe a lot). the headache was still there so i took whatever pain reliever i found. even if am not much into taking meds.

im not feeling too good until now. but the thing is, i wish i weren't this weak. because for all it's worth, i wanted to be super woman for this job. i really do.

1 comment:

CES said...

hi tye, i understand what ur going thru now. i worked with abs-cbn before and i practically had the same experience, working long long hours, going home 4 or 5 am the next day. both mind an body are stressed. at first it was really inspiring. i thought it was my dream. but i realized if that job was making me sick, literally, even if thats the dream id been chasing (i took mass com just to follow my dream of becoming part of a so called prestigious network) it's probably not good for me. and i let go. im not saying u let go. im just saying, try and weigh ur true priorities/ values in life. ill pray God gives u strength and enlightenment