Hedgehog

I look at this. And then I wouldn't have to wonder.

There is a God.

Farewell to Tito Larry

We were used to delivering speeches in college--toasts, keynotes, eulogies... But nothing prepares us for the real thing, for the real occasion. Today I sat with my heart in my throat as I listened to my friend say the best goodbye to a really good dad. The thing is, I don't know how to congratulate her for the speech well done.

Early Christmas for a Bunch of Brave Kids

Last year's Christmas blessings has become this year's early Christmas presents to a bunch of brave kids.

I finally found the time to wrap and distribute the gifts which came from friends with kind, generous hearts.

And I wish to share the special smiles and thank-you's the kids gave us in return.








It's always a refreshing feeling seeing their smiles. It reminds me that despite what we all have to contend with everyday, nothing is too difficult, nothing is impossible. Their smiles bring me comfort. That despite what I've lost, who I've lost...life goes on and there always is something to be thankful for everyday that we find ourselves alive.

Capital ng anong bansa ang Vienna? at Paano magluto in one minute?

Yan ang dalawang tanong na sinagot ng body na ito ng EB.

Watch this...



hehe.

(sa wakas, one down na sa umami! haha!)

On the Rolando Mendoza Hostage-taking

The most important question is "what could have driven a person to hijack a bus-filled with tourists and actually kill people?"

Rolando Mendoza could have been you or me on a bad day. Our only advantage is our psychology is more resilient to stress and inner or external conflicts than his. We should consider ourselves lucky.

At this point, it is not about what the globe would think of us. It is about what we should think of ourselves, about our flaws as human beings.

Rolando Mendoza could have been you or me on a bad day.

And as long as we remain sane despite everything else that may haunt us everyday, we should consider ourselves lucky.

This I learned the other day...

You cannot teach another person how to act professionally.

Professionalism is something which a person teaches herself. Unfortunately, not everyone has what it takes to learn the essence of the P-WORD.

Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane

The world can continue revolving without me.

And even if it does revolve with me in it, no one needs to notice that I am taking up space. And that I am doing everything I can to make myself matter--to make my existence mean something.

I am not requiring the universe to see me. I am resolved to accomplish things from my little corner. I need no praise from anyone. I just need me to smile. I just need to know that I was able to do what I expected myself to do.

I do not ask much from the universe. I do not ask for security, love or happiness. I do not ask for rewards.

But today, it seems, so many is being asked of me....

Something is wrong. Because this time, I notice. This time, I get to feel the universe' demands. Ripping me so I can serve what it is requiring from me.

The universe used to be a cellophane. I used to look right through it and walk right by it.

But today it hits me in the head.

I can choose to be a cellophane but the universe...choose otherwise.

Nicholas

How can anyone NOT miss this kid?

3 years in heaven. Still loved. Still missed.

No more fever, Nichi. No more pain.
Ate is happy.
Continue smiling down on us :-)

No More Fever for You

He felt it coming,

the dip from worse to worst,

the ebbing of life,

the end of the adventure.

And he did get tired.

Not much word about it

but he did get tired.

No one knew how to stop it,

No one knew how to make it better.

Then one day he was freed.

From the fever, from the pain.

One day it all went away.

It all took HIM away.

And we...

we should be happy

This you gotta watch

This week, I saw this video from one segment of the June 13 Episode of Party Pilipinas. It gave me goosebumps.

Very Nat King Cole and Natalie moment!

I still feel that the Magalonas and my family share a common "enemy" which took someone very special to us. For that, I always have to restrain myself from hugging any of them whenever we cross paths.

And I although I never met the Francis Magalona in person, I've heard first hand accounts as to how great a man he is...or was. Kiko's family has a reason to be proud of the master rapper who, to them is Pop. :)

Psycho Series

i can't let psycho win even if the thought of psycho pushes me off-track. ruins my day. ruins my day.

once again, i look the way i feel...crappy! of course i blame psycho for this. but this has got to stop! because it's not good for me. i can't let psycho win.

there are somethings one just can't run away from--that includes "psycho." i'll just think of this as a test of character. psycho is the obstacle.

I'm calling her "psycho" and I swear I will never talk to her until she realizes how much of a psycho she's been. nasty, nasty, psycho. tsk tsk.

nasty. really nasty! I just wish I'd NEVER inherit that nasty gene! Tsk tsk.

whatta shame!

twas nasty what she did. and i feel nothing but shame for her.

as much as I would like to hate her, i won't. otherwise i'd be no different.

and the last thing i want is to be her. i may have her genes but i won't be her.

i won't be anything like her.

math problem

we used to play charades--2 teams, 1 host. but 1 left leaving 4 behind. then another flew, farther than any plane can reach, landing on the heavens, leaving 3. now, another exits so now we're down to 2...

...down to 2.

real bit

Haunted by her inability to write, she opened a book given by a friend who stood by her back in the University where she first attempted to explore the power of her pen, back in the time when she faced the same state of constipation.

Inside the book was note which says, " For Tyrene: Constipated people don't give a shit...."

And so, she smiled.

Spectacular, Spectacular! A Spectacles Story

1. Clip-on shades - what-is-left-of-my-first pair of eyeglasses. The eyeglasses that made scribbles on university blackboards look clearer. The eyeglasses which I lost during the day of my graduation.

2. Brown metal with shaded lens - The spectacles that accompanied me during my job-hunting days. Even saw me through my first few months on my first job.

3. Black plastic - First time I invested a semi-fortune for a pair of eyeglasses which, as it turned out, was not a very good investment at all. A friendly advice: avoid eyeglass temples or is it...ear hooks...made out of rubber--doesn't mesh well with, well, human sweat. Contact lenses saved the day!

4. Maroon sunglasses-turned prescription glasses - Cheap frame; high-quality lens. It is the way to go. Except that in the middle of my stay in a foreign land, during its first year with me, the upper rim decided to snap. Maroon eyeglasses is witness to the hardest times of my life. I guess, it caught the most tears.

5. An attempt to a barely there glasses - Impossible to achieve, I tell you. It's either you are wearing eyeglasses or not. This pair served me for a long time. Saved me in my stay in the said foreign land. Had to give it up, though. My eyes needed more reinforcements.

6. Brack - Brown na black, the latest member of my visual companions. Hope to see a better future with it. :-)

So I guess, it's not my day. It hasn't been for many days now. Therefore, nasa akin ang bagua.

Hindi ako nakapasok; wala akong nagagawa masyado dahil mostly natutulog lang ako, as if may naitutulong ang pagtulog sa sana'y paggaling ko other than hindi ko maramdaman na may masakit; humihilab ang tyan ko--nakakapraning; pinapagalitan ako ng kapatid ko sa di umano'y pagpapabaya ko sa katawan at sa hindi ko pagpapadoktor; nung nagpa-doktor naman ako nasermonan ako ng slight ng doctor dahil bakit ngayon lang daw ako nagpagamot...paano daw kung food poisoning nga at kumalat sa system ko ang "poison"; tapos pumayag ako magpa-CBC winarningan ko ang med-tech na may isang shot lang sya, ayun at kaliwa't kanang braso ko ang tinira niya; I'm several hundred-peso poorer--maaring lumala pa depending on the result of my CBC & fecalysis, that is if I do produce the specimen na ilalagay sa cup...na argh good luck; no pay ako dahil absent at x2 pa yon--kung bakit, don't ask; at sa gitna ng mga waste na ni-let-go ko--involuntary pa nga na hindi ko na i-de-detail dahil it was such a mess, hindi man lang ako pumayat.

So ang masasabi ko lang, looking back, sana...sana lang talaga, nag-World Chicken na lang ako.

Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.

This is exactly the reason why I avoid doctors and hospitals and clinics when I know something's wrong with me.

So good luck na lang sa cup na ito.

"Tweet" ni battik

naakusahan na ako ng kawalan ng oras sa pamilya.

pero matapos ang nangyari kanina, naisip ko na mas OK nang mamatay sa puyat sa pagbabantay ng editing kesa sa pagtakbo at pagbabantay sa ospital ng mahal mo sa buhay.

sana wala na lang nagkakasakit. nakakanginig ng nerves.

picture ng dad ko mga 2 ng madaling araw:

it's 1:30 am and I'm eating ice cream

the problem with sleeping (almost) the whole day on a Sunday is that you find yourself up all night hence you can't get the sleep you'll need to face another action-packed week... a week that promises that killer thing called "sleep-deprivation"...sleep deprivation that runs for days which ultimately makes you WANT to sleep (not to mention "makes you NEED to sleep") on the only day you are free to sleep...the only day when you'd rather be unconscious than be alive...that only day which happens to be a Sunday.

it has become a vicious cycle, you see? makes you want to think, "what the hell am I doing with my life?"

Holy Smokes!

Sa tuwing nakakakita ako ng ganito, naaalala ko si



...ROMANY SEDONA. Yak!

Let's All Be Extra Happy

No more running. And I'm not talking politics.

...ang gusto ko lang sabihin e, game na!

Let's all be EXTRA happy! Go!

"Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?"

Hero ka ba?

Ano ba?

‘Wag kang tanga!

How does one deal with little minds?

The answer is simple. You don't.

Little minds don't understand anything beyond what their cerebral hemispheres can accommodate. There is no point in arguing with them because in their world, in their hand-crafted universe they can never be wrong. For that, growth is impossible. Thus the "little mind."

Little minds toy on the fringes of things that matter but always miss the meat. They dwell on the shallow and adorn their opinions with profanities, lousy artwork, and nursery rhymes--lame, very lame but what would one expect?

I was, for a moment, tempted to deconstruct a written piece by a classic little mind just to point out the loopholes in her logic, and to do some serious writing workshop. But for what?

It will be such a waste of time. Especially now that I have loads of more important things to do, not because I am merely someone who's "gainfully employed", but because I am happily doing what I love to do for a living.

I refuse to condescend to a brain that refuses to grow.

Yes, every time some mindless creep blows second hand smoke to my face I will remember that somewhere out there, some little brain is on the loose, out to defend the likes of the creep. And then I'd be frustrated because of the existence of such dense, blind creatures.

For all it's worth, I'll let the little mind deliver her gibberish. After all, she's the one out to prove something. And the rubbish she comes up with sadly is the only thing her little mind can afford to do.

ON ROMANY SEDONA, the blogger who won an award by using ME as her subject

I wish there were no truth to what I wrote a year ago about how smokers are destructive not only to themselves but to others and the environment. I wish I were some "self-righteous little tyrant" gone mad because I am blind to the beauty and sensuality of smoking. I can only wish…

So that I can stop feeling sorry for the clouded mini-mind of ROMANY SEDONA who so boldly referred to me as a “bitch” and an “asshole”—among others—in her quest to debunk my exposition which the Philippine Daily Inquirer found legit enough to publish.

I can only wish ROMANY good health as she is confined in her self-absorbed “hedonistic” indulgence—as she may call it—trying to escape poignant facts of life, moments of mental cacophony which ultimately challenges our humanity, hiding behind her sticks of cigarette and her fallacious comparisons to chado, yoga and other wellness practices, and her, well, flair for imagery.

I can only wish her long life, to the girl who condemns me for allegedly wishing her kind, death whereas she’s all for risking “10 minutes or so” (How many 10 minutes in a year? I do not know.) of her life inhaling what she believes is euphoric oxygen which, if she were paying attention to her science classes, is scientifically DECLARED as carbon monoxide—a chemical compound known to prevent blood from carrying oxygen to the lungs…now we don’t need a textbook for that.

I wish Romany clarity of mind albeit the smoke she inhales so that she can stay firm and can stand by her choice, her so-called freedom of expression, and not to be touchy with the idea of smokers like herself drowning in their own smoke in a gas chamber I am proposing just to paint a vivid picture of the harmful effects of smoking especially to smokers. After all, Romany herself admits that “there is nothing healthy about smoking” but since, as she says, we live “in a world where you can die at a moment’s notice from anyone of a million different reasons, vectors and causes” she’ll vouch moments of pleasure with that health-hazard tool that reminds her to take “long deep breaths and luxurious exhalations.”

I wish Romany more years of being “gainfully employed” so she can sustain the advance university degree which she clearly needs. Because after all, a learned—writer or no writer—knows how to choose her words and ROMANY SEDONA, obviously has problems with choosing hers.

To end, I wish to tell ROMANY that the subject of her award-winning blog entry, the blog entry which the Philippine Blog Awards seemed to affirm as something outstanding, powerful, and of a quality that is “unforgettable to its readers and the whole blogging community”—the subject of her “winning” blog entry which was hastily misjudged, misquoted and maligned is no where near being LITTLE.

Mary Tyrene L. Delgado, an environmentalist in her own way, is bigger than who she really is because she knows how to care not only for herself but for the GREAT MAJORITY.

The subject of ROMANY's spite knows how to step back and see the bigger picture, to speak in general and then set aside vagueness by going through details—proofs that she FULLY UNDERSTANDS what she is talking about.

Most of all, Mary Tyrene L. Delgado, the character who won ROMANY her award, is non-tyrant, non-bitchy and non-asshole-y enough NOT to call anyone names in exposing FACTS in her Youngblood article, which I guess, primarily flared up the poor 20-year-old smoker named ROMANY SEDONA.