Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Rambles of the Un

I’m blue and the weather speaks of how I feel. It is 3:40 in the afternoon and my supposedly well-lit room is devoid of sunlight.

I am not at work because my stomach has gone crazy from yesterday’s food tasting and a heavy dinner at Superbowl. I figure, I am gifted with an anorexic stomach—it can only handle one grand meal a day. Unfortunately, my brain has a flair for binging and since the mind rules over anything else, I end up taking in more than I can handle, leaving me in trouble—stomach trouble, that is.

A former high school classmate who once said she may name her future daughter after me (she liked my name, not necessarily me) sent her apologies for not being able to remember me. This is what I get from sending messages to people I add in my Friendster list which often contain the line, “I hope you still remember me.” Most people, they stop at adding friends and former acquaintances in their accounts. Not me. I send my hellos because I want to be polite and sincere. And now that someone has actually forgotten me, I feel…violated.

Then there’s last Friday when I felt that I was unusually hurting. And nobody, not even my shadow, knew it but me. I was so good at masking my pain that I was even able to post something about Friday the 13th, my lineage, and Chinese Dragon dance when in fact sometime during that day I had written this:

Say Cheese!

Bleep you, Eros!

You turned me into a pink loving freak! No, I wasn’t teasing you with my taunts last time. I wasn’t challenging you to do anything. I was just mocking you.

Now don’t you get me started with your mockery-is-the-best-form-of-challenge gibe! I bet my flat ass that you don’t even know rhyme even if it hits you on the face.

I haven’t completely fallen to your pit, Eros. I will bounce back. I know I will.

You shouldn’t do this to me. You shouldn’t.

Leave me in peace.

Because if I break, no one will pick up my pieces for me.


Perhaps I have bounced back, high enough that I have mustered the courage to post the cheesy bit that sprang from my alleged pain. Funny thing is, although Eros do not exist I have a history of carrying out a conversation with him, one that dates back to June 7 this year, the “last time” I was referring to in Say Cheese! It goes:

Hey, Eros!

Don’t think that I can’t see through you. I know that you’re up to something.

What’s with you today, huh? First you let me bump into your chosen subject. Classic! Frankly I am quite disappointed in you. I expected something original, you know, after all, you are Eros.

Then what? Music?! I listen to music all the time, pal. You have got to find other means to stir up my emotions in the standards of your specialty.

Oh yeah, the romantic camera angle you showed me. Clever, eh. You are using my fascination with movies to tease me. But surely I can come up with better scenes. And I am not Eros!

You know so well how much I would hate to get involved with your shenanigans. I am extra sensitive with issues that has to do with you. After all, you are a suspicious character I’d rather not trust.

So if you wish to pull me to your trap, I suggest you try harder.

I’m tougher than you think.


In my piece of paper, the previous stream of thoughts was suffixed with the following:

The monologue you just witnessed is a verbal presentation of a chemical reaction involving a series of “kilig” elements and Dalton’s tiny indestructible model of an atom.


Dalton’s tiny indestructible model of an atom is not so indestructible after all and yet it remains whole.


My blog seems unvisited as reflected by my comments portion where I, the author, was the one who posted the last thought seven days ago. Of course, poor readership results in the ebbing of the drive to write. That is why I have not written anything about my new cute godson, Perry, and my new kumares with whom I spent a Cubao Safari (as coined by Mareng Ging) last Sunday. Too bad, my mood will prevent you from hearing how we were time warped to a Marikina corner in Cubao. Or how I braved the streets of Quiapo in my skirt. Yes, skirt in public. Like haven’t done it for at least 13 years of my life. No big deal there.

Also, since my dad’s incessant texts and calls asking me where I am or when I will be home every time I leave the house have started to bug me, I have decided to confront him about it. I mean he is a cool dad but he does have a tendency to become “the jealous boyfriend.” I told him a while ago, “Dad, siguro mahirap kang maging boyfriend. Text ka ng text ng ‘san ka na?’ Tapos iba pa yung tawag” Of course he defended his side and of course I got his point. But I had to insist, “parati naman akong nagrereport sa iyo kung nasaan na ako unlike ni Ate and Soy.” Which I think he didn’t hear.

I chose to laugh it out, his nth text last Sunday about me getting home before it gets dark. I was waiting for him to add, “umuwi ka na, nakapalda ka pa naman.” That would have been funnier.

Yesterday, I was supposed to cram the day with my maid-of-honor duties. Still, I sneaked out as early as I could to claim the replacement of my ATM card from the bank branch during banking hours, as said by the phone bankers I talked to days before. Bank! (I mean it as a cuss word.) To my disappointment, my new card was not with them but on the express banking center where I opened my account which, by the way, doesn’t operate until the exact time I should be hitting the road with the future bride and groom to meet their caterer. I swear (not a curse), I clarified to several phone bankers where I should be claiming my card and where I had opened my account. They all told me to do the transaction on THE branch during THE friggin’ banking hours. Grrr…strike one! I guess they ought to know that with matters like this I don’t keep my mouth, or at least, pen shut. I really do make reports and demand action just as I did with Globe Telecom.

Oh what else? I got lost in Marikina with Ate and Warren, the future bride and groom, yesterday while we were searching for their caterer’s headquarters. Good thing, I wasn’t the one who paid the cab. Otherwise I would be blue and broke right now. Anyway, the long search was rewarded with a fantastic multiple-course meal—the main reason for my present upset stomach, not to mention indigestion.

No, I am not UNHAPPY despite the negative vibrations carried by my present blog entry. I am just UNINSPIRED and, mostly tired. Then again, I was able to come up with this two and a half page entry, didn’t I? Perhaps I am not all that uninspired. I am just un.

COMMENTS

oo nga, gabi na, nakapalda ka pa naman. susme. uwi ka na ng maaga. nyahaha. buti ka nga eh hinahanap. ako hindi. kebs forever!
ganda ng mga ninang ni Okay ka, Perry Ko!
sweeet.
Posted by: GinGmaGanda | October 17, 2006 08:43 AM

No comments: