Letting Them Go

Given the recent roadblock to my supposed shortcut to getting rich, I am taking the path to reconciling with the idea that I have a list of things to let go of. Generally, they are the pseudo goals/plans a berk of mine was asking if I had. As it turns out, I won’t be able to afford any of them anytime soon, if not forever.

So here’s the list:

1. Providing a comfortable life to the people I care about. Chances are, I’d be back to my unsubstantial contribution in maintaining comfort and security. That is, once I’m back in the loop.

2. Living independently. Living on my own will be pretty much impossible now.

3. Raising a kid. Yes, I was planning on raising a child which I cannot very well do now that I can barely raise me. And believe me, this is one of the most painful things I am letting go of.

4. Keeping a bountiful savings. You know what they say, “isang kahig, isang tuka”? I’m bound to that as it is impossible to save when you’re under a break-even spell.

5. Becoming a full-blown philanthropist. As much as I would like to give, I really need a generous source from which I can get the things I will be giving.

6. Staying Zen. It is hard not to worry about life when you can barely afford anything. That’s how budgeting proves to be stressful. Wait til you hear about surviving.

7. Acquiring my dream camera which isn’t much really. I mean, I wasn’t planning on buying any of the complicated ones, let alone those with sky-rocketing price tags.

8. Pampering me. Facials and other forms of pampering that may potentially help me decompress are clearly out of the question, let alone the corrective laser eye surgery I was planning to save for. I wanted to get rid of the contacts and the spectacles in the future.

9. Traveling. I guess, I am going to have to settle on googling Cambodia to see the Angkor Wat. And my latent desire to visit Siquijor or Cebu will remain bleak.

10. Redesigning my space. It has a lot to do with my slight obsession with beauty and order; but it has a bigger lot to do with sticking my banner up and punctuating my identity.

I am letting them go, anyway I’m busy preparing for the days to come which are sure to be far from easy. For all its worth, this is my first step on getting over them.