Boy Trouble-shooting

Two months ago, a good friend mustered the courage to come out and confess that she’s having some sort of a boy trouble which is out of her character. Well, for starters, she’s not the type who’d waste time troubling herself over a boy. And, she's not one who’d admit that she’s having trouble with a boy.

It isn’t hard to understand why she is my friend. Really.

I was with her yesterday in Makati—Makati which almost swallowed me in its discombobulating, rainy streets. I think I have to mention that I got lost on my way to a so-called raket. And what better way to culminate my working weekend but to spend a few hours with the said good friend. (And once again I rhyme!)

It seems that good friend has fixed her boy trouble a week ago when she and boy have officially become—for lack of a better term—an item. Good friend, however, suddenly undergoes what she calls an out-of-body experience, sees herself from afar, and begins to doubt her decision in allowing herself to get into a relationship. Normal people contend with a seven-year itch. My friend was faced with a seven-day itch. Imagine that.

She worries how it is unlike her to be in her present situation and perhaps to be as happy as she currently is.

At the risk of sounding mushy, she shared her story to me. But then she pulled it off. She relayed her relatively romantic tale, mush free. I’m happy for her. She’s with someone and yet she remains herself.

“I’m happy for you,” I think I told her. “Your boy found you. And by allowing yourself to be found by your guy, you proved how normal you are. But by being you, you remain more special than the rest of the normal people.”

I think good friend indubitably got what I was trying to tell her.

* * *

It then shows that good friend is—forgive me for saying this—in love. No girl will ever display over solicitude towards some boy if such boy means nothing to her. Even I have to admit to that. But how one resolves such boy trouble is another story.

If good friend had a pleasant resolution—things pointed to one direction which is to hook up with the boy—some solve their boy trouble by terminating it—the trouble, not the boy. It works especially when, as things turn out, the boy doesn’t deserve their trouble. When they realize they are better off, they move on until the boy closely tailored for them finds them or until they, themselves, find the boy closely tailored for them—whichever comes first.

The point is, it is always best to know when to stop troubling over a boy. It saves one’s time and energy, not to mention it avoids putting one’s prettiness to waste.

* * *

Before I end, let me assume a philosopher’s voice and ponder on the phrase “boy trouble.” This is to clarify that in the first two parts of my post, I’m using the said phrase loosely. That if I were to consider “boy trouble” in a more technical and stricter manner, my opinions will be different. More hostile perhaps.

Here’s what I would have to say: The problem with “boy trouble” is the BOY in it. Boys are no good for girls. They are good for games but not for girls.

What I’m trying to say is that girls, they don’t deserve boys. They rear boys but never marry them. Being romantically involved with a boy, let alone marrying one IS trouble.

What every girl needs is a man.

People will be surprised but there is always a man in all ages. (So parents, do not think that your girls will start dating a guy twice her age in her search for a man.) There is always a man among boys. A man in preschool, in high school or in the real world. A man with—excuse the term—balls. Balls that he doesn’t boast about. Balls that allow him to be both tough and soft whenever the situation calls for it. Balls that permits him to love in the truest sense.

So, girls, when faced with a boy and a man, choose the man. The man with that thing which allows him to be both tough and soft and to love in the truest sense.

I mean, I’m no expert but I know what the obvious best (not just better) choice is.