Monday, December 17, 2007

To See the World from a Maroon Haltered Long Gown

Actually the world ain’t that different.

Except that your friends suddenly notice that you are umm…uhh…a woman!

And, people, at least those wearing pants, suddenly practice chivalry when you’re around: opening doors for you, helping you get on and off a car, that sort of things.

But aside from those, the world is pretty much the same. My jologs sense of humor remained the way it was and I didn’t emerge without a load of duties albeit my supposed “prettiness.”

Although I have to admit that I am a whiner. I whine, and at most rant, before I act. But I act just the same, even beyond the definition of my title. (Why do I sound like I’m promoting myself? Perhaps because I am.)

Going back…

I would not have worn a maroon haltered long gown if an opportunity did not present itself. But it did. It presented itself in the form of my Ate, my only sister in the world, getting married.

Of course, the obsessive me did not take easily the idea of my sister marrying off even to the man she’s been with for around nine years who also have been a pseudo part of our family for almost that long, too.

I knew that my sister, getting married, would mean I would have to share her, not only to her husband but also to her new sisters (in law) and her new family. However my selfishness would most definitely not stop her from pursuing her decision, her love, her future. Even I with my selfishness and all would not stop her from pursuing her happiness.

And so the day when we all wore gowns came but unlike the rest of us, my sister, the girl two years older than I am, the one who led me and my brother to do semi-nasty things kids do, the one who reminded me that I should start taking care myself when I was denying myself of that thing called puberty, the person who had been my roommate for the longest time, the one who taught me to sing with the aid of a mic, the one who coaxed me to bake even if I was too lazy to bake, the one who sort of informed me that I was no loser therefore I had no business locking myself up in one room and waste time which I should spend in school, my sister, she sported a pristine white gown with a veil hovering over her head leaving a long cathedral trail behind her.

My Ate has become a bride and it suits her so well, I can convince myself she was born to wear that dress.

Yes things will change after the party’s over. The gowns we wore were simply symbols of a celebration brought about those changes. After all they are the happy-kind of changes.

From my corner, I tried to find the courage to accept that in the hierarchy of things which matter in my sister’s life, I will have to take a step back to give way to something more permanent, something more for her than for me. It’s time for such thing to happen.

It’s just the way things are. People grow. They take their own paths. But even if my sister and I choose to stroll down along different avenues, I know we will never outgrow each other.

A year after seeing the world from a maroon haltered long gown, I still continue to bear witness to changes. But despite how our worlds have continued to revolve, life’s really ain’t that different.

Except that my Ate who was once a bride is now also a mom.

And I, her maid-of-honor, is now a Tita to her little angel who doesn’t look bad in her little gown herself.

***Happy first wedding anniversary to my Ate Win and Kuya Wah!***

Waking up with Ate on the big day

My parents escorting my sister to the altar

Me and my newly-wed Ate

How WE wrapped up the celebration of changes

My two-month old niece who doesn't look bad in a gown herself

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