Sweet November in June: Ridiculous!

I chanced upon the movie, Sweet November, last night and although I knew it would extend until this morning, I braved it once again in the hopes of discovering a way to appreciate it.

I’ve seen Sweet November before and it sucked. I saw it for a second time and it still sucked. I can’t remember if I went for a third or a fourth time, but one thing is for sure, after having given it another opportunity to justify itself, it still proved to be one of the most ridiculous films I have ever seen!

If only the main characters’ prettiness can redeem this movie’s nonsensical plot then watching it would have been worthwhile. But Keeanu Reeves and Charlize Theron’s good looks weren’t enough to cover up how massively absurd this movie is. [Blogger’s note: I was trying not to use the word “absurd” to avoid associating this movie to stories employed by absurdist plays which only genius playwrights can concoct. Sweet November is absurd. It doesn’t make any sense. Period.]

Keenu Reeves’ need for a series of acting workshops was emphasized thanks to this movie. Hey, we love Keeanu—I even had a major crush on him when I was 14 years old and my fanaticism ran for a couple more years—but we have to admit that he can’t act. He nailed Speed and The Matrix trilogy simply because his characters in those films required little emotion in that wide spectrum of pathos. Sweet November downgraded Keeanu’s pseudo acting skills to pathetic; thereby contributing nothing to a viewer’s appreciation of the film.

On the other hand, the now-Oscar-winner Charlize Theron played the character that made the film ridiculous in the first place. No matter how good she acts, you end up hating her.

So how bad is the story? Why did it cause this film’s downfall?

Well, it’s about Nelson (Reeves), the workaholic advertising executive who meets Sara (Theron), the sick pervert who selects men to “help” on a monthly basis. As it turns out, Nelson is Sara’s November (project), and Sara’s willing to give herself to Nelson for 30 days just to make his life better. She assumes that having sex with him for a month will change his life. Nelson gives in, what with the free sex with a gorgeous woman? He’d be nuts to say no! He shuns his qualms about living with this lady who’s been with nine men for the year (Sara admitted that she didn’t have a September guy, thus ten months minus one) and allows himself to be vulnerable—that is, in terms of emotions and on contracting a sexually transmitted disease. A few weeks later, Nelson finds himself falling madly in love with Sara, so madly in love he proposes to her. Of course Sara is used to this, after all, it is not the first time that one of her projects got down on his knee to ask her to marry him. The only difference is, now she is not just shooing the guy away because she feels the urge to move on to next month’s project. With Nelson, she has no choice but to say no because she is dying—well, she knew she was dying, that’s probably why she started this “noble” project of hers, but she’s in a really bad shape now; I doubt that she’ll be having a December. She drives Nelson away as if it were Nelson’s fault that he fell for her. She punctuates how she’s playing with the poor guy by blindfolding him, having him feel his way to get to her, leaving him just like that, and letting the now damaged Nelson heal by himself while she dies.

Moving. Really moving.

I would have cried but I can’t find a valid reason to shed tears.

Even I cannot say that it is “love” that’s happened between Nelson and Sara. Perhaps it is more of Sara’s selfishness masked as lame selflessness. Nelson? He’s a victim but not an innocent one. He also brought his misfortune upon himself the moment he acceded to Sara’s insanity.

I honestly can’t make anything out of this movie except probably this piece which screams nothing but “ridiculous!” And if I may borrow Simon Cowell’s words, I’d say Sweet November is “absolutely appalling!”