Be Careful what you Pray for

Last night I clasped my hands and prayed, harder than I normally do.

I prayed for my immediate future, for things to be clearer to me, for things to work the way they should be. I prayed that I be saved from limbo, from the anticipation of things to come, if indeed they will come.

I pleaded for things to work out. I enumerated my intentions and explained that they are good, so I really would very much appreciate it if things worked out they way they are expected to, given the situation.

I prayed for a sign. A sign for a promising future. One that will be in harmony with my intentions.

Today I got my answer. My in-your-face-answer.

I have been somewhat absolved from limbo, but not the way I hoped to be. Things are clearer and are probably going the way they should be. Not necessarily the way I pictured them, but what can I do?

I prayed a lot of things last night. But I forgot to pray for one thing. I didn’t ask to be granted sufficient courage to accept the answers to the prayers I prayed for.

Quite frankly, I wasn’t ready for this.

I could have used the 20 more days I tried asking for.